In this enlightening episode of Light Warrior Radio, Dr. Karen Kan hosts Sarah Peyton, an expert in the neuroscience of resonance and healing attachment wounds. The episode dives deep into the science and emotional dynamics of how attachment wounds form, how they affect us, and the powerful role that resonance can play in healing.
If you’re someone who struggles with relationships, has a deep sense of emotional pain rooted in childhood, or simply wants to understand how to better support your own healing journey, this episode will resonate with you. Below, we break down the key takeaways from the conversation, offering insights into healing attachment wounds and cultivating healthier connections.
Understanding Attachment Wounds
Sarah Peyton starts by explaining what attachment wounds are. These are emotional injuries that develop when early relationships—particularly with caregivers—fail to provide the safety, security, or emotional nurturing a child needs. Whether due to neglect, inconsistent caregiving, emotional unavailability, or abuse, these wounds often leave lasting scars that affect how individuals relate to themselves and others throughout their lives.
Sarah emphasizes that attachment wounds don’t just go away on their own. They can manifest in many ways, including chronic feelings of loneliness, insecurity, difficulty trusting others, or even a constant fear of abandonment. Over time, these emotional wounds can shape how we experience our relationships, both personal and professional.
But here’s the good news… healing these wounds is not only possible, but it’s also a process that can be deeply transformative.
The Power of Resonance in Healing
One of the key concepts Sarah discusses is the role of resonance in healing. Resonance is the act of emotionally connecting with another person in a way that allows them to feel truly heard and seen. In the context of healing attachment wounds, resonance can help rewire the brain, making it possible to repair old, hurtful patterns of connection.
Sarah describes resonance as a co-regulation process, where two people, typically a therapist and a client, establish a deep emotional connection. When this happens, the nervous system of both individuals sync up. This synchronous connection creates a powerful healing environment that can facilitate emotional regulation and reduce the impact of past trauma.
Sarah explains that when someone’s nervous system receives resonance, it feels as though the missing emotional nurturing from childhood is being received now, as an adult. This experience can begin to “retrain” the brain and nervous system, fostering a sense of safety and connection that was lacking in childhood.
It’s important to note that Sarah isn’t just speaking from theory—her work is grounded in neuroscience. Studies have shown that the brain and body are capable of significant rewiring throughout life, particularly when the individual is in a safe, supportive environment where they feel seen, heard, and understood.
What Does Resonance Feel Like?
For those unfamiliar with resonance, Sarah takes time to explain what it actually feels like in practice. Resonance feels like being truly met by someone emotionally. When another person fully tunes into your emotional state and reflects back your feelings with understanding and compassion, you begin to feel a sense of relief and connection. This is especially important for those who may have never had this experience in childhood.
Sarah highlights the difference between simple empathy and true resonance. While empathy is the ability to understand someone else’s feelings, resonance goes beyond that—it’s the act of sharing the emotional experience with them. This act of co-regulation is particularly healing for those with attachment wounds, as it helps them re-experience the safety and emotional support they lacked growing up.
Reconnecting with Ourselves Through Compassionate Presence
Dr. Karen and Sarah explore how healing attachment wounds isn’t just about connecting with others but also about reconnecting with ourselves. The relationship we have with ourselves is foundational to all other relationships in our lives.
Sarah points out that many people who have suffered from attachment wounds have a tendency to be very critical or dismissive of themselves. This self-criticism is often a learned behavior from caregivers who didn’t offer enough emotional validation or care. Rebuilding a compassionate and nurturing relationship with oneself is essential for the healing process.
One powerful tool for this self-healing is practicing self-resonance. Sarah encourages listeners to practice “resonating” with themselves—meaning, tuning into their own emotions with kindness and understanding. Instead of pushing away or ignoring difficult feelings, we can choose to be present with them, allowing them to flow and process naturally. This helps build a sense of emotional safety within ourselves, which can then be extended outward to others.
Healing & Transformation: A Lifelong Journey
Sarah also emphasizes that healing attachment wounds is not a quick fix. It’s a lifelong journey of creating new, healthier patterns of connection and self-regulation. It requires patience, compassion, and often professional support, whether through therapy, coaching, or other healing modalities.
However, Sarah reminds us that healing doesn’t mean erasing the past—it means transforming how we relate to it. When we engage in healing practices like resonance and self-compassion, we begin to change the narrative of our past, allowing us to step into a new chapter of growth and emotional health.
Practical Tips for Healing Attachment Wounds
In closing, Sarah shares several practical tips for those who are on their healing journey:
Seek Resonant Support:
Surround yourself with people who can truly see you and offer emotional support. This could be a therapist, coach, or close friends who understand the importance of resonance in healing.
Practice Self-Compassion:
Take time every day to tune into your own feelings with kindness. Reflect on your emotions without judgment, and allow yourself to experience them fully.
Create Safe Spaces for Connection:
Whether in your romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics, foster environments where emotional safety and resonance can thrive.
Be Patient:
Healing attachment wounds is a process that takes time. Celebrate small victories along the way, and be gentle with yourself when setbacks occur.
Educate Yourself:
Learning more about the neuroscience of attachment and resonance can deepen your understanding of your own emotional landscape and how to nurture it.
Conclusion
The conversation between Dr. Karen Kan and Sarah Peyton in this episode of Light Warrior Radio is a powerful reminder of the importance of emotional connection and the transformative potential of healing attachment wounds. Whether you’re struggling with unresolved pain from your past or seeking ways to deepen your emotional well-being, this episode offers valuable insights into how we can repair our emotional wounds and create more harmonious, fulfilling relationships.
If you’re ready to begin your own healing journey, Sarah’s work on resonance and attachment provides a supportive framework to guide you on the path toward wholeness and emotional health.
Listen to the full episode below!
Resources
Sarah’s Resonance Summit
Sarah’s Book: Your Resonant Self
